First off, I want to tell you that having light sensitive epilepsy is possibly the lamest thing since un-sliced bread. Okay, like, aside from cancer…And AIDS. But epilepsy? It’s like medically being the least fun person in the room. You can’t joke around switching the lights on and off, can’t go to a party with strobe lights… In fact, maybe you ought to just avoid parties all together. Actually, no social functions at night, or more specifically after dark. Yeah, that’s the safest. Oh, and don’t have any pictures taken of you with the flash on, that’s a bad portrait just waiting to happen. Just think of that glossy photo: your eyes half closed, your mouth slack-jawed, and your shoulders rising towards your ears (all these sure to create the appearance of a double -or possibly triple- chin). Expect that to be the only picture of you in the senior yearbook; it will probably be used more than once.
Do you have friends? I didn’t think so. I mean, watching someone writhe around is a little bit frightening and that’s way too much work for just one more friendship. Betty, Jake, Jennie? All infinitely better friends than you will ever be without all that pesky convulsing crap.
There’s just so many kryptonite’s for you to avoid: ceiling fans, Pac-Man, muffins (because they’re gross), turn signals… On and on the list goes.
And that’s your teenage life. Just sit at home, in a normally lit room and hope your light-bulb never starts to die.
*Disclaimer* This is more of a monologue than a story, but I was just messing around with a couple of words my friend said and I don't have much else prepared for posting... So, yeah. *End disclaimer*
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ReplyDeleteThis, like you said, definitely feels more like a monologue than a story... and as such, I think it's really successful! Some people might be offended, but oh well. I think there's enough sensitivity to pull it off. When you were describing the "shoulders rising towards your ears" I immediately thought of Richard Nixon for some reason. Bahaha. This is my favorite part:
ReplyDeleteThere’s just so many kryptonites for you to avoid: ceiling fans, Pac-Man, muffins (because they’re gross), turn signals… On and on the list goes.
If I was still into the theatre scene, I would probably steal this for an audition. Hehe. :)